Last week my mom and I saw a dolphin show at the Georgia Aquarium. Multiple dolphins performed impressive feats of athleticism. For the finale, a couple of the dolphins flipped impossibly high in the air. I was certain with each flip that that would be the one that did me in. I wouldn't be able to hold the tears back anymore and I knew if they started there would be no controlling the immense flood and sobs.
Awe, beauty, and overwhelming joy cause my heart to swell so big that my entire body wants to weep uncontrollably. If I actually let it, what you would see is one great big, ugly cry. You would think something was wrong with me. But, there's not, I'm just overwhelmingly right. I learned long ago that this type of cry makes people uncomfortable because they want to fix what's wrong. They want me to stop. Perhaps because it made them uncomfortable? So, I reserve it for the comfort of my own home, my own space. Books always gave me that permission to ugly cry. I am often by myself as I read so in that safe space I allow the depth of my being to see the light of day. If I can make just one person ugly cry while reading my book because they catch a glimpse of the perfection of themselves, the world, humanity, then my job would feel complete.
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AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
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