I am a huge book lover. I have been since I was a kid. My mom loves to tell the story of how I dislocated my shoulder getting down from the bed because I refused to let go of my books as I held on with my other arm to the railing. Reading was and still is the great love of my life.
So, it often surprised people when I told them that I didn't keep a journal or diary. I thought it was because I was worried about other people reading it, after all, I broke into my sister's diary regularly. (sorry, Kim) I have known forever that I wanted to write a book but there was something inside me that kept saying, "if you are so opposed to writing in a journal, what makes you think you could actually write a book? I mean, all the great writers have been writing since they were little, it was their passion. Writing was their passion, not reading. You are a reader, not a writer. Probably isn't a good idea to waste your time." Wow, right? I could be so cruel to myself. Hence, the other reason why I hired a book coach (see previous post). I believed that by investing in myself I would be more inclined to follow through with publishing a book, even if it's the only book I publish. At least I could say I did it. Turns out my resistance to writing was not due to lack of desire or inability to write, it was due to limiting beliefs such as the ones above. What actually happens when writing down your most intimate thoughts is that all of these limiting beliefs (and more) rise to the surface where they must be confronted in order to continue the writing process. It is not for the faint of heart. No wonder I didn't journal. Yet, writing is the most healing thing I have done for myself. It's also been the most challenging. And also the most rewarding. I now believe that there may be more than one book in me yet. I now believe that I may in fact, be capable of authoring multiple books that could potentially one day be on a best seller list. I am now the writer that loves to read rather than the reader who longs to write.
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I mean, I feel like that image explains it all. But, in case you are curious about the details of how I might have ended up like that, here goes.
I am a writer. End of story. So, I often look like that. It's soooooo much worse when I attempt to write a book as opposed to say, a blog post. I have attempted to write books numerous times throughout my adult life. Sometimes they were fictional, sometimes an attempt at self-help, but always I would get no further than a few pages, one chapter if I was lucky. I thought maybe I needed to switch mediums. I tried computer writing, hand writing, voice memo writing, nothing kept the momentum going. Over the years people have asked if I would write a book about My Year of Hugs and the answer was always a resounding YES! But, that was over 10 years ago. I began to write it 2 years ago and ended up on another hug adventure instead. *shrugs* So, when the pandemic hit and I got divorced it became painfully obvious to me that I needed help (in oh so many ways, but specifically in writing my book). Not so surprisingly to those of you who may follow the Law of Attraction, I met a book editor/coach as I was passing through Colorado on my second hug adventure. So, when Maggie McReynolds (Unsettling Books) advertised opening up a new beta program inviting a group of people to write the first draft of their book in four months, I jumped at the chance. Sure, I absolutely still have moments like the picture above, however the enormous difference is that now, I have an entire first draft of my book completed. SCORE! While this is a huge accomplishment, the bigger dream I have is in actually publishing said book. So, when I realized that 90% of my first draft would need to be scrapped because I had gone off on one too many tangents, I knew Maggie was the one that would be able to help me birth my completed book into reality. She is my book doula and together we will deliver this book to you by the end of this year. May it be so. |
AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
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