Why can't I do that? This is a question I have been asking others and myself for as long as I can remember. It seemed as though there were far too many universally accepted "rules" that I was simply expected to know. As a child when I broke one of these rules I was reprimanded with "you can't do that. You know better!" Whether it was asking someone about their pet that passed away or being curious about and touching a dangerous tool in my dad's garage. How was I supposed to know better if I had not already been given a book of the rules? Where was this book? How did everyone else know what these rules were? I felt frustrated, rebellious, and ashamed.
Why were these rules there in the first place? I needed to know so I asked over and over again. Why? "you just can't." Why? "Because if everyone broke the rules all hell would break loose." Why? "do you want it to be ok that people are just allowed to go around murdering each other?" What? That escalated fast. I learned to stop questioning. I learned to stop getting curious. I learned to follow the rules to a T. I became aggressively angry at anyone who DARED break the rules. The person in front of me that turned at the red light when there is a sign clearly stating, No Turn On Red? I get pissed. How dare they? The person that spoke out of turn in a meeting when everyone else was obviously following the rule to 'take turns'? What the fuck? My children that do not say, "how high?" when I say jump? Inconceivable. (sorry kids, I'm learning) On my quest for understanding the "rules" and why they were even there in the first place, I started breaking rules in ways that I thought could be acceptable and I was willing to risk it. The rule: "You can't follow your passion and be a good mom." Me: "But, I am going to hug people for a year and blog about it. Isn't that showing my kids the power of kindness? Besides, they will be with me the whole time." The rule followers: "That sounds ok." The rule: "You can't leave your children for a whole month to travel the country! Who will take care of them?" Me: "Their father has agreed to this adventure. He supports me and will continue to support his kids while I'm gone. Besides, I am on a mission to show others that people are all generally kind and good. Isn't that important in this day and age?" The rule followers: "Yeah, we see how that could be important." My reasoning was acceptable. I was given permission to break the rules. Which led me down a new rabbit hole. So, rules can be broken, but only in ways that are deemed acceptable by society? Who is this society? Why are they in charge of the rules? What happens if I break a rule that isn't deemed acceptable? Will I really be shunned? Is it truly as unsafe to break the rules as I have been led to believe? A few weekends ago I was at an Abraham Hicks workshop. If you are not familiar with them, check out one of their many free videos on YouTube. In the beginning of their Law of Attraction workshop, Esther (who channels the beings called Abraham) shared a video clip of the "rules" of the workshop. It was done in a super fun way explaining how people will be called upon and what they are to do in order to join Abraham on stage to get their questions answered. It was made clear that if you think you are being called to the stage, take a few steps forward and if it isn't you then you sit back down. They even made it a point to show someone who didn't follow the rules and continued to walk on stage anyway. Laughing, Esther said, "just don't be that person." Yes, they were rules; yes, they were important; and Esther wanted us to know that the vibe of the day would be fun within those rules. At the end of the day as the last person was called up, they were hesitant. They took a step forward then sat back down. At this point, Abraham was running the show in Esther's body (not as creepy as it sounds, you should really check them out!) and they said, "go ahead and stay sitting, I'm sure someone else wants to be on stage more." The person that sat back down had another change of heart and jumped back up saying, "no. I want to be up there." and her and Abraham began their back and forth spar. Meanwhile, a woman who had her hand raised the whole time began slow walking forward. She slowly walked past the woman arguing with Abraham, gingerly waiting for the moment Abraham told her to stop. As she made it past the bickering woman with no one stopping her yet, she looked out at the audience and gave a big mischievous smile. We all laughed. She continued while the bickering continued. This brazen woman made it all the way to the stage steps and... broke the rules. She stepped on stage and sat right down in the hot seat (that's what they called it). She took her place out of turn. She did the thing Esther warned not to do in the beginning of the workshop. The audience roared. Abraham turned to this woman now sitting in the hot seat and declared, "That is the best thing that has ever happened during one of our workshops." (they have been holding them for over 20 years) She broke the rules, got what she wanted, and the audience (well most of us) loved her for it. Abraham loved her for it. On that day she reminded me that the rule breakers are the ones who get noticed. They are the ones who make waves. They are the ones who create new rules. They are the ones living their best life despite what society deems as acceptable. They are the money makers, the world travelers, the inspirers, the icons, and the revolutionaries. They are the bad asses. I resonate with them. I am one of them dressed in sheep's clothing. It has taken me years to fine tune my sheep costume. It may take me years of tugging at the thread that will unravel it all, but make no mistake: The unraveling has started.
1 Comment
Maggie
11/14/2022 11:21:13 am
THIS!
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AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
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