Recently I started taking singing lessons for my own pleasure - or at least that was the intention. I've wanted to be a singer since I was almost as young as little Cooper up in that picture but I never told anyone. As happens with many of us, I was more or less told I wasn't a good enough singer for the school chorus, much less anything grander. So, over the course of my 47 years, I rarely sang in front of anyone unless the music was too loud for me to be heard, or I was drunk.
I was so terrified before my first singing lesson that I almost cancelled but a good friend recommended the voice coach and raved about the breakthroughs she had in the first 3 lessons. I was determined to have those breakthroughs. I was determined to feel confident to sing in front of my friends and family whenever I felt like it. Maybe even become confident enough to sing at karaoke. Maybe. What I didn't expect was that by the 2nd lesson I would take his teachings and apply them to my writing. "Melinda, no one likes to hear themselves sing. Everyone I know thinks they sound awful. The thing is is that they are comparing themselves to other singers. They are wondering why they don't sing like Mariah or Whitney. But, we don't need another Mariah or Whitney. We need more people owning the voice they have and offering that up to the world." I let out a deep breath when he said that. I appreciated both the validation that I am not alone in not liking my voice and the permission to embrace it anyway. It took another 24 hours before I realized I was doing the same thing with my writing. I dislike everything I have written so far in my memoir because I'm still wanting to sound like Glennon Doyle, Liz Gilbert, or Cheryl Strayed. Shit. I'm comparing my first drafts of my first books to legendary well-established authors. No wonder I keep getting stuck. I'm not sure if I'm feeling more hopeful or afraid to return to my memoir writing now. On one hand, I can let go of the comparisons. On the other, what if I still struggle to find my voice? Ahh, the twists and turns of memoir writing...
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AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
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