Last week I wrote a paper that was included in the Intuitive Interspecies Communication Symposium led by the University of Saskatchewan. I also had the pleasure of speaking with two other communicators during the symposium.
This week-long event was full of brilliant researchers, indigenous elders, and professional animal communicators. I felt incredibly honored to be included - and also like I didn't belong at the table. My mind raced with, "I'm not smart enough, I'm not experienced enough, I don't know what I'm talking about." You know, a whole bunch of lies that in my vulnerable moments I wholeheartedly believe. One of the main messages I want to get across in my hug memoir is that we are all equal. It was important to me not to discriminate against anyone I asked for a hug. I was as likely to ask for a hug from someone asking for spare change on the corner as I was the CEO of my ex-husband's company at their Christmas party. When the symposium was over I cried because of all of the wounding that said I wasn't equal to those brilliant people I was seated at the table with. My wounding said that they were wondering why I was there. It said, "why did you even bother reaching out to those people for networking connections? They aren't going to write back." It said, "who do you think you are?" The Truth is, I can't possibly speak up for the equality of all if I am not including myself. So, I'm going to keep showing up at these tables even with my shaky voice. I am going to keep practicing owning my place in this world. I am going to keep practicing believing I am equal. The truth is, we live in a society that doesn't allow everyone at the table. We live in a society that creates laws excluding some people and even criminalizing them. My looks allow me the privilege of being at almost all tables. I can't let those demons inside my head limit the tables I choose to sit at because how am I supposed to pull up a chair for those that are unequal in the eyes of society and our laws if I'm not already there? Believing I am equal at a table full of animal communicators may not help me create equality for all, but it's a step toward having the confidence to sit at more tables and I will continue to press against my wounding until I'm sitting at the most powerful tables pulling up chairs for everyone who wants to join me.
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AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
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