Since Octavia Raheem's book Pause, Rest, Be came out, I have attended two different book clubs featuring it. Part of the reason is because she owned the yoga studio I used to attend, Sacred Chill and I adored the vibe there. Part of the reason is because I love books and any and every opportunity to discuss them.
This book is different. Not only because she is inviting us to take moments of rest in our lives *gasp!* but also because she offers three different yoga poses for intentionally addressing these moments of rest in our lives. It's an invitation to hit the pause button of our life for a moment, assess where we have an opportunity to nurture ourselves based on the season of our life, and simply be in that space. For the first book club I found myself in a middle, in-between space of my life. The yoga pose she offers for this season is the side-lying pose. I dread the in-between spaces of my life, the times when an ending is completing, a new beginning is emerging and all the balls are up in the air. It's uncomfortable and I have always either numbed out in that space or forced myself to 'do' things that make me feel more comfortable because I could say, "At least I accomplished xyz." To be present for that space was a foreign concept. Preparing for that first book club, I acknowledged my discomfort in that in-between space, grabbed multiple blankets and pillows, set my timer for 15 minutes and allowed the uncomfortable feelings to rise as I rested on my side. My legs got itchy. I desperately wanted to move. My thoughts raced. And, at the same time, I surprisingly began to feel accomplished in this act of simply being. I offered myself words of comfort, "this will not last" "everything will work out" "you are exactly where you need to be" A micro-shift from doing to being anchored itself in my body. I found peace in the in-between. At the second book club I attended this past weekend, I found myself in a beginner's season. An ending of who I knew myself to be had recently transpired and an acceptance of the greater Truth of myself was being revealed. Was she going to be safe in this world? Was she going to be accepted and loved? Would she have different dreams than the ones I was already moving toward? In circle with the fellow book club attendees, we dove into a deep, vulnerable conversation about our experiences with the book, then took to our mats. The yoga pose offered for a beginning season is the child's pose. Placing my bolster between my legs, I dropped on to it and allowed my arms to drift down along the sides of my body. I gave permission to be touched when the yoga instructor asked to support us with gentle pressure. My cheek rested on the bolster and after the instructor gently guided me into the pose even deeper, the tears flowed freely. I had no words for what I was releasing. Perhaps it was grief over the old version of me that now no longer existed. Perhaps it was the fear of the unknown version of me. Perhaps it was purely somatic and my body simply needed to be cleansed. Whatever it was, I knew I was supported in this place of rest. After 15 minutes, I slowly worked my way off the bolster praying that the damp spots left behind were only from tears and not anything coming from my nose. Last week I spent time debating taking a pause with my book. I now knew the debate was over. My body is requiring me to pause, rest, be. It's requiring me to discover the new version of me, spend time with her, discover her likes, dislikes, needs, wants. Most importantly my body is requiring the self-love I have so recently cultivated to be directed solely on her and provide her nourishment, comfort, and grace. I am discovering that this ever important pause is part of the path of the writer. Part of the path of the healer. An important part of the path of being human.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
Categories |