A few weeks ago my book coach, aka my Fairy BookMother, Maggie McReynolds (with Un-Settling Books) sent me some global notes about my latest draft. I expected to read some suggestions about teasing out the theme more, maybe some suggestions about how we could rearrange the chapters, reminders that it’s a book about hugs and I need to include more of those stories, but instead this is what I got:
“You have everything you need inside – every sentence, every word, and every ounce of bravery – to finish your book with honesty, vulnerability, and relatable truth. And to prove it to you, I’m going to give you back your own words.” And then she proceeded to copy and paste MY WORDS from my blog posts – yes, these blog posts - as suggestions for how to finish writing my book. It was both validating and tear-my-hair-out frustrating. I knew what she meant. The way I write these posts is the way I want my book to sound. But, my brain malfunctions when I sit down to write the book in a way that it doesn’t when I write, well, anything else. My brain kind of goes blank when I sit to write the memoir. I forget the guidance Maggie has given me. I forget the suggestions my writer friends have given me. I forget what I formed in my mind about what I wanted to write. I even forget to look at the sticky notes taped to my desk that my left elbow actually touches while I write that remind me what to focus on. Last night I was ready to throw in the towel. That's it. I'm done. I can't do this. I wasn't meant to do it. Only, I'm the only one I know that has been on these journeys. I'm the only one that can write this story. So, I'm going to step back in front of the clay I have molded in to a form that resembles something that could look like a book one day. I'm going to take a deep breath and chunk out another piece. I know my book lies deep within and I'm going to keep excavating until I find it, one keystroke at a time.
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AuthorMelinda Lee is a mom of two adolescent boys, a devout student of all things spiritual, a recovering perfectionist, and immensely fascinated with achieving the unachievable. Currently writing a memoir about hugging strangers. Archives
February 2023
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